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The Life of Cassie Cassie
Sep. 25th, 2006
08:30 pm
This is how I feel right now! I need prayers and lots of friends right now. Thanks!
"Does Anybody Hear Her"~ Casting Crowns
She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away
If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
He is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
HurtingJun. 13th, 2006
01:54 pm - What a weekend!
Wow what a weekend i had. My brother came on Friday and from there on it was a non stop weekend. Friday shannon, Josiah, and I went to a drag race. It was sooo fun I want to go again:) On saturday we decided to go to the Rascall Flatts concert it was amazing although i was a little dissappointed with their performance...they didn't play as long as i would expect and they only played 2 songs from their new album. It was ok though and I would probably see them again. On sunday we went to six flags ang I actually went on roller coasters. I can't wait to go back and ride some more. Well I am at work and it is busy right now. I wish I had summers off. Hope everyone is well. Havea great day:)
crankyMar. 23rd, 2006
06:37 pm - Confusion!!!!
Ok so I have to write me feelings down and this is a journal so here it goes. Have you ever had that moment where EVERYTHING is perfect and then boom you mess it up? Well that is what is going on right now. My friendship and relationship with a certain person was going really well and then I let my guard down. The thing that I told myself I would never do now almost a week later I am confused. I had the most amazing night on saturday and now I don't even know if it was really real. I fell harder than I have ever fell before and my heart is starting to break. What should I do? I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. Yes, I was holding something inside but at least it was in control. Well more of this later my chinese food just came...nothing more indulging but take out a sappy movie and ice cream:)
confusedFeb. 13th, 2006
10:44 pm - My weekend
Hi everyone! I haven't really updated this much but thought that tonight I would double the fun:) This weekend was soooo A-mazing. Friday night I saw Keith Urban. He is so HOTT and such a wonderful performer. He was sick but still managed to put on a wonderful show. I have the world's greatest roommates. We have our ups and down's but who doesn't? We had so much fun at the concert it was a great time.
Saturday was wonderful as well. Joey came and spent the whole day:) Shannon, Kelly, Joey, Pam, her friend Emily and I went to the Auot show. It was soo much fun. I never knew that I would have so much fun looking at cars. I found one that I want...a saturn ION berry red(pink) with a sun roof. We saw so many crazy cars and some really expensive ones that I will never be able to sit in again. After we got home from the auto show we were pretty much tired so we cooked breakfast heehehe and chilled out until it was time to go out again. Holly, Shannon, Kelly, Joey and I went to 10 Pin Alley which is a bowling alley/martini bar downtown. It was a 3 hour wait!!! so while we waited we went to a piano bar called Howl at the Moon. It was sooo much fun. I want to go there for my birthday:) When it was time to go back to the bowling alley we bowled and I bowled a 148:) I was so happy. Things were great and I had my friends there and was having fun. yesterday I slept and went to the mall before Kelly left:( She is soo much fun I am glad that we are friends. Today was a typical Monday. Tomorrow is valentines day but that is ok;) Well gotta get back to homework. I am not sure if I am ready for this school stuff. Hope to talk to you all soon.
10:41 pm - My emotions in songs
RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS
"What Hurts The Most"
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
KEITH URBAN LYRICS
"Tonight I Wanna Cry"
Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away
[Chorus:]
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way
confusedDec. 16th, 2005
10:28 pm - Jesus, Take the Wheel
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Lately that has I have been feeling. I can't do this alone anymore. Alot has been going on in my life. A lot that I have kept secret and tried to handle it on my own. I have come to the conclusion I can't do it alone. I can't face the reality that the one thing I have been avoiding my whole life is coming closer each day. This might be the last year I will have my dad at Christmas. I pray every day that God keeps him here a little longer. I can't handle work on my own knowing that every little penny I make is still not enough to get by even though I make alot to some eyes it still isn't enough to pay for school, apartment, bills, and life. I can't handle not talking to my friends that I thought were so close to me but put me on the back burner and leave me to handle all my problems myself. I can't handle not having anyone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be ok that no matter what happens he will love me. So right now as I right this I am letting Jesus take the wheel of my life. I am letting him have control of my life and how I feel. I just asked of you all that call me a friend to be just that a friend. Be there for me through the good times and most importantly the bad times. I need you friends more than ever right now. Hope all is well with you and remember if there is any problems in your life give it all to Christ he will carry your burdens.
crappyNov. 3rd, 2005
08:22 pm - Friends
The last couple of days I have been really sick so I had a lot of time to think. My mind led me back to friends. Well this happened because one of my good friends is getting married in July:) Although we don't talk as much as we used to when she was here at curf my first year we still concider each other really good freinds. You know the kind...the ones that even though you haven't talked to for so many months you can talk to them like you talked 5 min ago. So much to tell each other and so many memories that you just can't keep in. So much of our lives has changed but the one thing that has not changed has been our friendship. I know that no matter what comes my way if i need someone to talk to she is there. Even though she is far away she will be there. I began to think about my other friends. The friends that growing up you tell each other that no matter what they will be in your wedding, the ones that you practically live at their houses growing up and now that you are grown don't see. Those are friends that I will always cherish our memories and keep them in my heart. There are those friends taht even though you weren't so close to them in high school something happen and now you don't know what you would do without them. The ones that saw you through the roughest times of hurt and rejection. The ones that even though are your ex's friends are still yours because come on we are all adults now. Then there are the ones that you meet in college. The ones that you never really saw yourself hanging out with in high school but again you are grown up. The ones that got you through that really hard class, the ones that got you through that really drunkin night, and the ones that was sick with you from a really bad virus. Those are the friends I hope will never part. Even though some of them are far away and we do not talk to as much I hope that no matter what we will always be friends. Sometimes it is hard to stay in touch and in some cases they will not last but hopefully the bond that you gain will never be broken. No matter what comes our way, boyfriends, husbands, children, our lives. Friends come and some go but the memories last a lifetime. As I am taking new steps in my life I come across new friends. Two very awesome roommates that oddly enough we share alot in common. We all know what each other is going through in our relationship status because we have all been burned. We have differences but those make us stronger. As life gives us obstacles it gives us friends that we can turn to. Friends that at that moment know exactly what to say. Sometimes I feel like my world is turned upside down and I am so busy but i Know that there is one friend out there that I can turn to. I wish that all of my friends know how much you mean to me...if we have grown apart or are still going strong you mean the world to me. My life would be incomplete if it wasn't for you. I hope that I have impacted your life just the same. Just remember that wherever you are and whatever you do I am your friend till the end. You can hide from me you can put up a wall and ignore me but the mmemories that we share will always be there. Thank you to all of my friends for being there through the good times and the bad times and even though I am not always around I am your friend to the end.
gratefulOct. 22nd, 2005
10:34 pm - wow my favorite color
Your Heart is Pink
What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
Oct. 21st, 2005
08:17 pm - Alot to talk about!
Wow it has been awhile. My life is actually looking like it might go somewhere. Well, I think. It is like one of those roll a costers. It seems like the worse is over that all you have is turns and some little ups and downs but then BAMB! you drop and you drop so hard that everything in your body goes numb. Well sometimes it is like that. Life is going good sure my ex got married but that is a turn not a drop anymore. I have other things to think about and other drops to watch out for. This past couple of weeks have been amazing. I am actually getting closer with a friend and I couldn't ask for more. Well i could but lets take it a little slow;) Last night we went out for his bday. It was an adventure we went to joes crab shack for dinner in Aurora and then to a haunted house. We were searching for the haunted house for like an hour when finally we found it on accident. It was in our faces pretty much that whole hour. It was fun but scary I was pretty much dragging him the whole entire time. We laughed so hard and I screamed so hard that i was crying. It was a great time. On the way back there was some silence but not akward just us being us i guess. I finally realize that what we have is awesome and if anything will happen awesome but if not what we have is so amazing. I thank God everyday for the path that he gives me. Sometimes I am not sure where I am going and if it is the right path but so far he is leading me in a great path. I look back on everything that has happen and everything that has happen has brought me to amazing things and amazing people. I wouldn't be here at concordia living with amazing roommates, having some of the most amazing friends in the world, working at a great job where I love my coworkers, going to a great school where sometimes I complain about it but hey i get over it; if i never met fred, my parents didn't get a divorce and the break up with fred never happen. God is awesome isn't he. All those bad things led me to wonderful things in the future. I just keep going along and no matter what hits me I know something better and wonderful will come out of it. Wow, Ok I think I have talked enough. Thanks to all that is still reading this:) There are some amazing words here that I hope you all live and learn by. Hang in there all and I hope you are well.
peacefulSep. 12th, 2005
09:18 pm - Missing the stars
Hi everyone sorry it has been awhile. Lately it has been hectic. I feel like I am lost in this big world and just doing everything so routine like. I went home this weekend to just get away from it all. NO worries just me the stars and friends and family. I never knew that I would miss Decatur so much but I guess you don't miss something until it is gone. IT really hit me that I may never be going back there. Someone tells me to never say never because I know where I belong. Right now though Chicago seems right but this weekend Decatur seemed to fit. Ok I am not talking about the stinky town with nothing to do but just my family and friends and the quietness. I wish I had all the answers and when I think I have it all figured out God puts another obstacle my way or shows me another path. I am so confused right now I just need to focus on what God wants from me. Congradulations to Jen and Brad:) I am so happy for you two. Well I better go. Wanna know more give me a call :) Hope all is well with you all.
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